About me: I am 6'2" tall 179lbs. with an athletic build. I am a nice person and I am looking for a person who is also nice. I want someone who is both mature and responsible. Also, I would like a friendship and of course someone who loves animals because I have 80 of them, cows.
___________________________________________________________
From: ohnohedidnt
Sent Date:7/10/2011 4:34:04 PM
Subject: Hi
looking to befriend some cows. can you help me? ;)
___________________________________________________________
From: username33
Sent Date:7/11/2011 7:30:57 PM
Subject: RE:Hi
Hi
___________________________________________________________
From: ohnohedidnt
Sent Date:7/11/2011 7:56:44 PM
Subject: RE:RE:Hi
no go on the cow friendship? ;)
___________________________________________________________
From: username33
Sent Date:7/12/2011 7:30:04 PM
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hi
Want to talk on phone?
:)
___________________________________________________________
From: ohnohedidnt
Sent Date:7/12/2011 8:12:57 PM
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hi
i feel like you're avoiding the cow question. ;)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Back!
After some hiatus, HTLAGI10EOL may be back! I know, riiiiiight?! You're so excited! I would like to apologize for my previous posts that may be hard to read or understand. Whether it is a layout issue or if I posted when completely wasted. At least I may fix the layout issues. I will continue to booze it up periodically. You can depend on me! xoxo
Monday, November 2, 2009
What We Have Here Is a Failure to Communicate
From: nosenseofhumor_2222 (View Profile)
Subject: um Sent Date: 11/2/2009 7:11:50 PM
GRRRR lol
I wasn't sure what a grrrrlol was. So I inquired.
From: i'm_also_speaking_a_foreign_language (View Profile)
Subject: RE:um Sent Date: 11/2/2009 7:14:24 PM
que?
From: nosenseofhumor_2222 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:um Sent Date: 11/2/2009 7:18:27 PM
Oh hell no. u racist
I love it when guys weed themselves out.
Subject: um Sent Date: 11/2/2009 7:11:50 PM
GRRRR lol
I wasn't sure what a grrrrlol was. So I inquired.
From: i'm_also_speaking_a_foreign_language (View Profile)
Subject: RE:um Sent Date: 11/2/2009 7:14:24 PM
que?
From: nosenseofhumor_2222 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:um Sent Date: 11/2/2009 7:18:27 PM
Oh hell no. u racist
I love it when guys weed themselves out.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Can't Make This Sh*t Up
Everyone deserves love. It's true! Even those who are lucky enough to participate in the Special Olympics. I have a soft spot for those who really do ride the short bus.
So.... I received the following email:
From: xxxxx xxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/8/2009 9:47:21 PM
Hi my names is xxxxx xxxxxxx
Every message I receive attaches the profile picture(s) of the interested party. Who wouldn't check out his profile?!?! Luckily, my co-blogger was at home with me when I received his first message. She betted that he won that trophy in a hotdog-eating contest. He listed his body-type as "Athletic" and I suppose that does qualify as a sport.
His "About Me" section is best read aloud:
About Me
I Like Beach.Pools,Swimming,Hiking.Spa,Walking,Chat,Soical,Alot Water,Biking,And Goal To be P.E. Teacher Still College For Year To go.I Like Wear Normal Dress And Look Nice Haircut Styles.I Love Band Going Country OR Rock -N- Roll AND Meet Rolling Stone AND Bruce Springteen.I Meet Pat Green In Country Music I Was A Body Guard. And I Like Going To Beach And Skating Rolling Blading.If You Want Go With me Just Ask We Will Get Together As Deep blue As Together As Last Forever.And Also Getting Meet Me Somewhere Or Going Place Or Your To Meet. Just Let Me Know.Remeber I Am Open. Mind.Going To Musesum In Downtown Dallas And Got In Downtown Fort Worth Got Nice Weekend Going To Festval Looking Arts.And I Got Nice Fire Place And Alot Movie Dvd And Enjoy It.Doing Computer On Good Time And Got Nice Hot Tub Huges I Got Them And Like To Know Each Other Often Best We Can Get Trust Each Other I Like Church Jesus Is Making Us Feel Great Time.Going Wine Tasting Place In Grapevine.
First Date
Meet Starbuck Coffee Or Going To Zoo Or Walking Park.
Curiosity takes over. I really needed to know how he got that trophy. Maybe he won a moose-wrestling contest in his homeland of Austria. He MUST be foreign... it's the only way to explain the accent I had started using when reading his email/profile aloud.
From: xxxxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/8/2009 10:41:28 PM
Hi xxxxx!
Where are you from and where'd you get that trophy?
xxxxxx
Now, while he writes me back (he's obviously very busy winning trophies and ladies' hearts to write me back immediately...), I have to tell you that it pains me to edit out his real name and his username. They're too good to be true. His user name is exactly what he's told me his real name is... except that he's added the double letters at the end of his last name a couple more times. Also, his first name is one that is ALMOST ALWAYS 99.9999% OF THE TIME a nickname. No one ever actually names their kid THIS on their birth certificate, do they?? And it's hard to illustrate my frustration without telling you either of his names!!!! HHHHHHHHHHH.
The best I can come up with is: Bubba Wrapppp. As if Bubba WraPP and Bubba WraPPP were already taken as usernames. Hopefully, you can understand where I'm coming from...
...
...
...
From: bubba wrapppp (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: RE:RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/9/2009 8:11:56 AM
I am from arlington,texas near hwy 360 and brown blvd. it closer 2 miles from new cowboys stuidam. trophy I got it from texas motor speedway won a hot dogs eating contest in 6 min. it only 10 hot dogs it not bad. got 20,000 fans watch me it 10 men in contest. but I lose alot weight since a year now. It alright with you can I dating with you, Bubba Wrapp ph# is 817-200-xxxx
NO EFFING WAY!!! I immediately text my roommate.
"How THE FUCK did you guess he was ACTUALLY in a hot dog eating contest? THE FUCK."
From: xxxxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/9/2009 9:56:47 AM
well, congrats on your contest-winning AND your weight-loss!!!
I don't think we'd be a good dating match, but you seem very sweet. best of luck to you, xxxxx!
xxxxxx
From: bubba wrapppp (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/9/2009 10:01:01 AM
Thank YOU YOU TOO.
So.... I received the following email:
From: xxxxx xxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/8/2009 9:47:21 PM
Hi my names is xxxxx xxxxxxx
Every message I receive attaches the profile picture(s) of the interested party. Who wouldn't check out his profile?!?! Luckily, my co-blogger was at home with me when I received his first message. She betted that he won that trophy in a hotdog-eating contest. He listed his body-type as "Athletic" and I suppose that does qualify as a sport.
His "About Me" section is best read aloud:
About Me
I Like Beach.Pools,Swimming,Hiking.Spa,Walking,Chat,Soical,Alot Water,Biking,And Goal To be P.E. Teacher Still College For Year To go.I Like Wear Normal Dress And Look Nice Haircut Styles.I Love Band Going Country OR Rock -N- Roll AND Meet Rolling Stone AND Bruce Springteen.I Meet Pat Green In Country Music I Was A Body Guard. And I Like Going To Beach And Skating Rolling Blading.If You Want Go With me Just Ask We Will Get Together As Deep blue As Together As Last Forever.And Also Getting Meet Me Somewhere Or Going Place Or Your To Meet. Just Let Me Know.Remeber I Am Open. Mind.Going To Musesum In Downtown Dallas And Got In Downtown Fort Worth Got Nice Weekend Going To Festval Looking Arts.And I Got Nice Fire Place And Alot Movie Dvd And Enjoy It.Doing Computer On Good Time And Got Nice Hot Tub Huges I Got Them And Like To Know Each Other Often Best We Can Get Trust Each Other I Like Church Jesus Is Making Us Feel Great Time.Going Wine Tasting Place In Grapevine.
First Date
Meet Starbuck Coffee Or Going To Zoo Or Walking Park.
Curiosity takes over. I really needed to know how he got that trophy. Maybe he won a moose-wrestling contest in his homeland of Austria. He MUST be foreign... it's the only way to explain the accent I had started using when reading his email/profile aloud.
From: xxxxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/8/2009 10:41:28 PM
Hi xxxxx!
Where are you from and where'd you get that trophy?
xxxxxx
Now, while he writes me back (he's obviously very busy winning trophies and ladies' hearts to write me back immediately...), I have to tell you that it pains me to edit out his real name and his username. They're too good to be true. His user name is exactly what he's told me his real name is... except that he's added the double letters at the end of his last name a couple more times. Also, his first name is one that is ALMOST ALWAYS 99.9999% OF THE TIME a nickname. No one ever actually names their kid THIS on their birth certificate, do they?? And it's hard to illustrate my frustration without telling you either of his names!!!! HHHHHHHHHHH.
The best I can come up with is: Bubba Wrapppp. As if Bubba WraPP and Bubba WraPPP were already taken as usernames. Hopefully, you can understand where I'm coming from...
...
...
...
From: bubba wrapppp (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: RE:RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/9/2009 8:11:56 AM
I am from arlington,texas near hwy 360 and brown blvd. it closer 2 miles from new cowboys stuidam. trophy I got it from texas motor speedway won a hot dogs eating contest in 6 min. it only 10 hot dogs it not bad. got 20,000 fans watch me it 10 men in contest. but I lose alot weight since a year now. It alright with you can I dating with you, Bubba Wrapp ph# is 817-200-xxxx
NO EFFING WAY!!! I immediately text my roommate.
"How THE FUCK did you guess he was ACTUALLY in a hot dog eating contest? THE FUCK."
From: xxxxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/9/2009 9:56:47 AM
well, congrats on your contest-winning AND your weight-loss!!!
I don't think we'd be a good dating match, but you seem very sweet. best of luck to you, xxxxx!
xxxxxx
From: bubba wrapppp (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hi xxxxxxx Sent Date: 10/9/2009 10:01:01 AM
Thank YOU YOU TOO.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
ohnohedidnt... post this picture!
Please draw a line to the photo that matches how I've labeled the photo on my computer:
1. flavaflaaaaaaaav
2. havepatients
3. doctorjay
4. glamourshotgary
5. cosby
6. awkwardkneelean
7. 1972bicyclepolaroid
8. lookitmyballs
9. sexycowboy
10. kneeshelfoldguy
11. pimpdaddy
12. 35yearoldpromdate
1. flavaflaaaaaaaav
2. havepatients
3. doctorjay
4. glamourshotgary
5. cosby
6. awkwardkneelean
7. 1972bicyclepolaroid
8. lookitmyballs
9. sexycowboy
10. kneeshelfoldguy
11. pimpdaddy
12. 35yearoldpromdate
Deleter! No Deleting!
We're back! My co-blogger and I have recovered from our party party Labor Day weekend drunkfest. If you haven't figured it out (or maybe we just haven't said), she and I share a living space. We convene in our swanky bachelorette pad (and send each other 'WTF?!' texts as events occur) to stay abreast and compare notes on men's online dating faux-pas.
Abreast. I just had to say it again.
So it had to happen eventually... The guy who deleted me ended up taking a liking to her in the most fun way. It turns out, yes, he must not have been 'that into me,' but also he is just what his namesake suggests... a deleter. Roommate has been deleted by him as well! Apparently, he likes a tidy inbox. I mean, who doesn't?
Tidy inbox. That sounds kind of dirty. In a well-groomed sort of way.
So anyway - my roommate - god love her - has more patience in her than I could ever hope to have. She gave Deleter her phone number. I know two things about our friend, Deleter. 1. He has severe ADD. And 2. He loves to send her text messages.
Abreast. I just had to say it again.
So it had to happen eventually... The guy who deleted me ended up taking a liking to her in the most fun way. It turns out, yes, he must not have been 'that into me,' but also he is just what his namesake suggests... a deleter. Roommate has been deleted by him as well! Apparently, he likes a tidy inbox. I mean, who doesn't?
Tidy inbox. That sounds kind of dirty. In a well-groomed sort of way.
So anyway - my roommate - god love her - has more patience in her than I could ever hope to have. She gave Deleter her phone number. I know two things about our friend, Deleter. 1. He has severe ADD. And 2. He loves to send her text messages.
"If we were married, would we sleep in separate beds?"
"What?"
"I just finished looking at videos of tornados. Have you ever been in one?"
"Do you like guys with facial hair?"
"No, not really.. maybe a little scruff"
"I buy frequent flier miles as a side job."
"What's your favorite band?"
"I don't know.. I have a lot."
"I haven't cut my finger nails in a while."
"So your team lost today, huh?"
"Yes, unfortunately."
"Do you have any idea how technically hot the sun is -like the temperature of the sun?"
Anyway, the textual relationship slowed significantly after he met us at a bar and asked if I'd contracted the jungle fever (because he saw us with a black friend). We have yet to confirm the use of crack-cocaine as his recreational drug of choice. Although his XXL Dodgers jersey on his M frame and frequent use of "Meow" suggests we may be on the right track.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wearing your heart on your.....keyboard?
Let's be honest. Putting yourself on an online dating website can say different things about you.
It can say:
- I am really busy with 17 jobs and 32 kids and have no time to try to find another other outside of the 22 hours I am awake and constantly busy.
- I have no luck picking up the opposite (or same for that matter) sex because I get real nervous and break into hives and sweat like Richard Nixon during the Watergate press conference.
- I fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down and prefer making people think I look like Chris Pine until I lure them into meeting and then the joke is on them
- I am really bored with life and need something to keep me from becoming a hermit
and so on and so forth
Any way you slice it, you really are putting yourself out there in what should be a pretty honest manner... opening yourself up to snap judgement that may or may not be in your favor. If that's not ok with you...probably don't sign up. Taking a chance at messaging someone is the same as walking up to them at the bar and offering to buy them a drink. They can either decline or accept. Same goes for emails. I can read them and reply or not. If I choose not to reply it's either because you wrote 2 words (see one sentence wonder post) and are uninteresting or I don't think there is any attraction. Call me a shallow, egomaniacal snob, but I doubt I am the first to want a physical attraction to someone I could potentially bare children with. Have you seen Carrot Top? Obviously that was not important in his parents' relationship and see what happens? So... if you write me and compliment me (u r pretty) don't get your manties in a tangle if I read and delete. Furthermore... if you email me and I read and don't respond immediately, please don't send a SWAT team after me and demand to know why I did not reply upon reading your carefully thought out 6 word email.
Case in point:
From: XXXXXXXXXX (View Profile)
Subject: hi Sent Date: 9/1/2009 10:22:49 AM
Your beautiful!!!
and then I get this 5 minutes later after he constantly refreshed his browser to see if I read it and when I did and did not reply he sent:
From: xxxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: Rude Sent Date: 9/1/2009 10:29:34 AM
well your welcome!!!!
Really, guy? I am rude? Maybe at the exact moment I read your email the publishers clearing house showed up at my front door and informed me that I won a bazillion dollars. Would you reply immediately? And since you were so quick to insult me, even if I was interested, not gonna reply back now. Way to go, Captin Impatient. Patience is a virtue, Jesus said so.
It can say:
- I am really busy with 17 jobs and 32 kids and have no time to try to find another other outside of the 22 hours I am awake and constantly busy.
- I have no luck picking up the opposite (or same for that matter) sex because I get real nervous and break into hives and sweat like Richard Nixon during the Watergate press conference.
- I fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down and prefer making people think I look like Chris Pine until I lure them into meeting and then the joke is on them
- I am really bored with life and need something to keep me from becoming a hermit
and so on and so forth
Any way you slice it, you really are putting yourself out there in what should be a pretty honest manner... opening yourself up to snap judgement that may or may not be in your favor. If that's not ok with you...probably don't sign up. Taking a chance at messaging someone is the same as walking up to them at the bar and offering to buy them a drink. They can either decline or accept. Same goes for emails. I can read them and reply or not. If I choose not to reply it's either because you wrote 2 words (see one sentence wonder post) and are uninteresting or I don't think there is any attraction. Call me a shallow, egomaniacal snob, but I doubt I am the first to want a physical attraction to someone I could potentially bare children with. Have you seen Carrot Top? Obviously that was not important in his parents' relationship and see what happens? So... if you write me and compliment me (u r pretty) don't get your manties in a tangle if I read and delete. Furthermore... if you email me and I read and don't respond immediately, please don't send a SWAT team after me and demand to know why I did not reply upon reading your carefully thought out 6 word email.
Case in point:
From: XXXXXXXXXX (View Profile)
Subject: hi Sent Date: 9/1/2009 10:22:49 AM
Your beautiful!!!
and then I get this 5 minutes later after he constantly refreshed his browser to see if I read it and when I did and did not reply he sent:
From: xxxxxxxx (View Profile)
Subject: Rude Sent Date: 9/1/2009 10:29:34 AM
well your welcome!!!!
Really, guy? I am rude? Maybe at the exact moment I read your email the publishers clearing house showed up at my front door and informed me that I won a bazillion dollars. Would you reply immediately? And since you were so quick to insult me, even if I was interested, not gonna reply back now. Way to go, Captin Impatient. Patience is a virtue, Jesus said so.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Return of the Mack
Let's take a trip back in time. Waaaay way back to.... 2 days ago. Remember when I was Chuck Norris??? (Good times!) So I didn't respond to his copy/paste funtimes email. What's the use in leading these guys on... Well, he wrote me again that day after I didn't respond.
From: xxxxx123 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Hey Sent Date: 8/31/2009 11:44:08 AM
Come on you didn't think the Chuck Norris facts where funny?
From: hhhhhhhhhhhh (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hey Sent Date: 8/31/2009 11:54:23 AM
it's not that they weren't funny... i've read them before and can go find them whenever i like on the 'net. you didn't really give me anything to respond to.
OK! Done! Schwoo! I think I handled that pretty well. He's still thinking about it 2 days later...
From: xxxxx123 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey Sent Date: 9/2/2009 9:18:29 AM
So what your saying is I need to elicit a response. I thought that would work they are funny. Didn't think you would have seen them allready. What is your favorite thing to do on the weekends? What is your real name Chuck?
Jxxxxxxx
I had a whole response typed up trying to help him out. Don't ask for any personal info. If she has stated her interests in her profile where information is willingly given, she probably does those things on the weekends. But I really can't stand to get ANOTHER email from him in which he is just.. lame. It's too sad.
From: xxxxx123 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Hey Sent Date: 8/31/2009 11:44:08 AM
Come on you didn't think the Chuck Norris facts where funny?
From: hhhhhhhhhhhh (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hey Sent Date: 8/31/2009 11:54:23 AM
it's not that they weren't funny... i've read them before and can go find them whenever i like on the 'net. you didn't really give me anything to respond to.
OK! Done! Schwoo! I think I handled that pretty well. He's still thinking about it 2 days later...
From: xxxxx123 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey Sent Date: 9/2/2009 9:18:29 AM
So what your saying is I need to elicit a response. I thought that would work they are funny. Didn't think you would have seen them allready. What is your favorite thing to do on the weekends? What is your real name Chuck?
Jxxxxxxx
I had a whole response typed up trying to help him out. Don't ask for any personal info. If she has stated her interests in her profile where information is willingly given, she probably does those things on the weekends. But I really can't stand to get ANOTHER email from him in which he is just.. lame. It's too sad.
Can I Ask You a Personal Question?
In other words, pleeeeeeeease respond to me this time.
From: ignoreme (View Profile)
Subject: Hello Sent Date: 9/1/2009 3:37:51 PM
Hey how are you doing? Did you have a good weekend? Any big plans for the holiday weekend coming up?
I didn't respond... his picture was fine. I always check out the profile to see if there's something I'm missing.
Nope, nothing going on there. Plus, he's short. And he doesn't need to know what I'm doing for the weekend.
Something about the way I ignored the email made him wonder something very specific:
From: ichangedmyminddontignoreme (View Profile)
Subject: Hello Sent Date: 9/2/2009 7:30:14 AM
May i ask you a somewhat personal question?
Did I respond to this guy and forget? I'm pretty sure I didn't. But I'm sorta dying to know if he's going to be that guy and ask if the carpet matches the drapes. What else would he want to know that he needs to ask it that way? I mull it over and decide I'm irritated enough to need to know what he wants.
From: godwhatdoyouwantman (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Hello Sent Date: 9/2/2009 11:34:04 AM
if you really wanted to know, you would've just asked it already, right?
the real question is if i'll answer it.
From: yay!aresponse (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Hello Sent Date: 9/2/2009 11:41:01 AM
LOL... do you ever enjoy short sensual stories?
WHAT!THE!HELLLLLLL!DUDE! That's what I get for wondering. I have a feeling he might ask me something else tomorrow. Stay tuned.
From: ignoreme (View Profile)
Subject: Hello Sent Date: 9/1/2009 3:37:51 PM
Hey how are you doing? Did you have a good weekend? Any big plans for the holiday weekend coming up?
I didn't respond... his picture was fine. I always check out the profile to see if there's something I'm missing.
Nope, nothing going on there. Plus, he's short. And he doesn't need to know what I'm doing for the weekend.
Something about the way I ignored the email made him wonder something very specific:
From: ichangedmyminddontignoreme (View Profile)
Subject: Hello Sent Date: 9/2/2009 7:30:14 AM
May i ask you a somewhat personal question?
Did I respond to this guy and forget? I'm pretty sure I didn't. But I'm sorta dying to know if he's going to be that guy and ask if the carpet matches the drapes. What else would he want to know that he needs to ask it that way? I mull it over and decide I'm irritated enough to need to know what he wants.
From: godwhatdoyouwantman (View Profile)
Subject: RE:Hello Sent Date: 9/2/2009 11:34:04 AM
if you really wanted to know, you would've just asked it already, right?
the real question is if i'll answer it.
From: yay!aresponse (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:Hello Sent Date: 9/2/2009 11:41:01 AM
LOL... do you ever enjoy short sensual stories?
WHAT!THE!HELLLLLLL!DUDE! That's what I get for wondering. I have a feeling he might ask me something else tomorrow. Stay tuned.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Que?
Close your eyes.. and picture someone saying this to you..
ur funny well note to self do not say nothing corny to this fether cuz it wont be catchable lol lol lol hi im xxxx
Now open them. Are you almost positive that the person saying this to you is probably a descendant of Yoda? I thought so too...twinsies!! Kids, punctuation and spell check is your friend. Although corrective and blunt about your mistakes and errors, it really does have your best interest at heart.
ur funny well note to self do not say nothing corny to this fether cuz it wont be catchable lol lol lol hi im xxxx
Now open them. Are you almost positive that the person saying this to you is probably a descendant of Yoda? I thought so too...twinsies!! Kids, punctuation and spell check is your friend. Although corrective and blunt about your mistakes and errors, it really does have your best interest at heart.
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